: Highest level of education completed/currently working towards: high school diploma high school equivalency (GED) associates degree bachelors degree master’s degree MBA/JD Ph. : Accidentally Yahoo/Google A friend told me An enemy told me You told me about your stupid page I can smell your desperation from here A scorching case of herpes led me here God hates me Blind hogs eventually find acorns “I fell off the jungle gym and woke up in here.” Why are you filling out this form? : Your caustic wit and ambitious verve Your cute face and hot body Your caustic wit and ambitious verve Your constant use of foul, discourteous language The way you show no regard for the feelings of others The way your immense ego blocks out any real emotional depth You make me laugh Your single-minded obsession with all things Tucker I like how you never use deodorant. : My beautiful eyes My sharp wit My compassionate nature My incredible intelligence My huge breasts I have the ass of a 12 year-old girl My cottage cheese thighs My sphincter can break a beer bottle My matted pubic hair My charming autism My colostomy bag My willingness to use sex to get what I want My perfect landing strip “The tar fumes are making me dizzy.” What would you expect me to bring?
You download the app, create a profile, add some of your favorite pictures, and write a short bio.
If you make a match, you can commence Instagram- or Facebook-stalking to learn more — at least that’s what we do.
Our singles community is massive, and you're only a couple of clicks away from finding a date.
Your name: Your email: Your age: Your sex: Female (This is non-negotiable. D./MD/DMD I go to the Vo-Tech, climb under a car, and sleep all day Jay Truck Driving School what’s edumacation? Your pheromones are too sexy to cover up I don’t like myself, and I’m hoping you’ll treat me like a used-up stripper Everything “You’re deceptive.” When would you like to go out with me? ) The kids at school used to call out “Baaaby Ruuth” when I would walk by No, really, I don’t think you understand: I am UG-LY “Daddy says I’m ‘this close’ to living in the yard! : Cheap flowers Expensive champagne Your A game I like shiny things A unquenchable libido Astroglide A shoehorn Amniotic dysentery A small, hairless Asian boy Your enema bag collection “And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey.” What will I do when I see you?
So, each month we'll test drive the latest dating apps and report back on what's worth your time.